2020: Into The Shadows

04/07/2020

I have returned, for those wondering.. here we go.

So where does one begin when telling this? Brendilyn's Dad passing away? Our finance issues rising? The wedding being called off? Or the break-up?

I feel like I have been talking about everything for the past two months in detail but now finally deciding to write about it and it still isn't any easier.

 I won't release any of the actual "dirty" details in this story, no. Just the ones that matter.

 Brendilyn and I broke up, luckily before the virus hit but regardless.. We broke up. Why? Well, that's simple, it was time.

 Between the arguments, the finance issues and then us "growing apart" as they would say, it finally snapped.

 Sometime after December 2019, after her Dad had passed away. We begin arguing more than we normally would, a lot of that I might take the blame on that. I'm not perfect and neither was she.

January came and her car broke down, along with our patience for the finance issues. We argued and negotiated for a while before coming to the sad truth of canceling our wedding. So we did or rather pushed it back.

February arrived, money wasn't getting better and neither was the world. While we're dealing with our relationship, the other side of the world was fighting a virus along with everything else.

The week after Valentine's Day, I woke up one morning to feel things that I have never felt before with a mindset to follow. I realized that Brendilyn needed to get her own things figured out just as I did. So we broke up and she left.

March came and I was in the process of trying to get over that our 4-year relationship was at its end. She had gotten her stuff out and I started living alone. At first, I used a lot of time to stay anything but sober. Took me a week or so to get my shit together and realize I couldn't focus on anything creative so I dropped the shit.

I focused back on my projects and even brought on someone to help me with Personalized by the name of Abby Rose. Been a blessing ever since.

By then, the Virus had its hold on everything and everyone. Movies delayed, events canceled and business closed down. Including the Faire that I regularly volunteer at. I was already having issues about going this year and had decided not to. Right before they had to cancel the event.
So March was more hell.

 There are people suffering way worse than me in the world right now.

Like the idea of a single mother with a kid or two who works her ass off at jobs, she can get to take care of her kids. Within a month, things are flipped upside down for her as the business she works at close and she has no income. No money coming in means the kids and her are suffering.

All because of the virus, the Coronavirus that is.

With all that being said, here we are in April 2020

So far, this year has started out with a shit start. With Australia burning, the virus making its way through the East, election year starting its normal shit and just the daily shit that is the world. Along with all that and my own issues, this has not been a great year so far.

The only good news I have to report is that Personalized is picking up. Abby and I have been working on getting back on a proper track with schedules, mixing and recording processes that it has never been on before.

Other projects such as Unlucky Charm, Danson, Freebird 2, Hope Valley, and 3HU$KS are currently on hold or delayed for various reasons.

Hope to have better news in the next blog post.

With all that being said. Be safe, wash your hands, and never be alone to the points it hurts. Reach out, talk and be alive.